I find dating awkward. Lacking a red velvet bathrobe persona,
most of my attempts to get to know members of the opposite
sex end with that frustrating and familiar speech: “Well,
you are a nice guy and all, but let’s just be friends.”
So I don’t date much.
Turns out there are millions of men and women who feel the
same way and they’ve found what might be a solution:
Internet dating, where you can use the anonymity of the Web
to seek, meet and greet mates.
According to date.com, 43 percent of the U.S. population —
and an estimated 60 percent of the online community —
is single. Nearly one quarter of singles who are online have
used Internet dating services or personals.
So I set off on my own online dating frenzy by enrolling myself
in four free or almost-free dating sites: date.com, hotornot.com,
facethejury.com and picrave.com. Here’s the skinny on
all four sites. 
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| What It Is |
Traditional dating site where you pay to interact with other members |
Pioneer photo rating site that added a "Meet Me" component |
Second fiddle to Hot or Not |
Online popularity contest that borders on cult-like |
| Members |
2 million |
2 million |
525,000 |
15,000 |
| Slogan |
"The New Way to Date" |
"Are You Hot or Not?" |
"Where Everyone Scores!" |
"The Biggest Party Online" |
| Age Range |
18+ |
18+ |
18+ |
Any age |
| What’s Free |
"Show Interest" feature; post 1 photo |
Ability to rate photos; post 1 photo |
Ability to rate photos; post 3 photos |
Everything |
| Special Features |
Dating tips, monthly newsletter |
If someone is interested in you, the "Do you want to meet me?" option allows you to view that person’s picture profile before deciding whether to respond. |
Message forums; instant messaging (for paying members) |
Message forum, unlimited profile space, ability to post 10 photos, couples can pool their votes to rank higher in the contest |
| What the creators say about their sites |
"People who pay $25 a month are professional and serious in looking for a relationship as opposed to one of the free sites where there could be anybody on there just messing around."
—Brenda Ross, spokesperson and date.com relationship advisor |
"I see our site as being more casual, more of a club for single people where single people hang out."
—James Hong, creator |
"Our site is pretty much into hip culture. It’s not taboo to be on our site like it is on some sites. People actually look forward to meeting people on our site."
—Brian Fox, spokesperson |
"My goal was to focus more on the community aspect of it — actually getting to know people as opposed to dating and mindless ratings."
—Joey Parsons, creator |
| What I liked |
I could browse profiles by state, name, age and other info. |
It’s free to vote, and only $5.95 per month got me access to the "Meet Me" section where I could e-mail potential mates. |
Message forums were active; instant messaging feature for paying members; $5.95/month gets you full access |
Addictive message forums, unique voting and ranking process, user can only use one active account, which keeps things authentic |
| What I didn’t like |
The cost of $25 per month. Also, users aren’t required to post a photo. |
The 150-character maximum user profile kills creativity. Also, users can have unlimited numbers of accounts and create multiple personalities. |
Photos don’t appear in random order for voting; the newer people show up first. So users vote for you less and less over time. Also, porn pop-up ads tended to appear. |
Some members call new users "newbies" and are rude to them. (Apparently the are so much e-cooler than I am with their 14,583 posts.) They seem to get off on being online 24/7. Get a life! |
| Fakers |
Fakers are rare. If you were paying $25 a month, would you waste your time using your brother’s photo? Unlikely. |
Multiple accounts and limited profiles are a breeding ground for fakers. |
The site places FTJ logos on the photos submitted to the site, but that doesn’t stop fakers from using someone else’s picture in the first place. |
You’re only allowed to have one profile, but some users steal photos from other members. However, they are usually caught by the dedicated "Cheaters and Fakers" message forum. |
